about 6 hours ago I finished competing for yet again, another Miss Orem Competition. The night was amazing, the girls were beautiful and also amazing, and everything was perfect. I could not have asked for anything else to go so well. What a great day. Three months I prepared for that pageant, struggling, succeeding, laughing, and it was totally and completely worth it. Did I win? no, I knew I wouldn't now that I think about it. Did I think I would place? Hell yes I did...in that respect I felt a little cheated but then maybe it was meant to be. I'm sure the wonderful ladies that placed were meant to have those experiences to grow from. There lives will be changed and bettered from the Miss Orem program and that is all anyone could ask for right? But, something still doesn't sit right this time. I feel dooped. Now I'm not one to brag (I think, if I do I'm sorry its unintentional) but when I'm on I'm on. ya know? if I'm going to do something that I know I can rock at, I will. I rocked tonight! I did my best and I know for a fact that I should have placed.
Well, now that my venting is out of the way let me tell you about the night! We had 16 wonderful girls, all looking fabulous and all doing So well with interviews earlier that we had the best spirits up! The lamest part of the night was the opening number due to poor sound work but its cool, I'm over it. Little did I know that the one girl that was waiting in the shadows just chillin by herself was the one that would take it all. Never underestimate the underdog. I don't even think I have had a legit conversation with Bridget until two nights before the pageant. Thats why i feel dooped. If your going to be the winner of the pageant, in my opinion, you should be the one that is full hearted in it! the one that does the hardest, stays the longest, gets to know everyone and makes herself known. I didn't even know she was running or who she was until halfway through the preparations. I hope that she is in it to win it. I don't know her very well but I'm sure that she will do a great job. I just wish that I could have seen that before hand.
Now that all is over what to do next? Run again? Not run again? I dunno...I don't think running and losing would be the most exciting part of my life..it sucks to completely feel like a winner only to be shot down. I know I'm a winner inside and I don't need anyone to give me a pretty tiara to tell me that I do. My niece was in the audience today and the look in her eyes when she saw me after the pageant was enough to make the whole thing worth it. In the end I guess that's what the whole program is all about right? making a difference in someones life? My little niece needs all the role models that she can get in her struggling little lifestyle and family. I hope I can be the kind of role model for her that makes her choose to be the difference, and not the norm.
One thing however has been the most impacting out of this whole experience, I have truly amazing and supportive friends and family. I don't think they realize how much it means to me that they came to support me and cheer me on! I love them all and I am so glad to have them all as great examples. :)
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