Saturday, September 5, 2009

The weekend....

Sitting out underneath the willow tree has always been one of my most favorite things to do. I honestly think I spend more time outside in my yard as I do in my own home. As old and decrepit as the old willow is it still still sprouts branches, and its still niiiiiiceee and shady. My dad says that sooner or later we will have to cut it down because big hunks of it keep falling down. But then sure enough as if the tree had ears the next year it springs back to life. The center of the tree is dead, well, mostly but the branches continue to grow and if it was gone my house would probably be unrecognizable...even with a bright yellow door.

Ironically its a lot like my family. The center is mostly dead, sadly, but all of the branches keep growing. It keeps holding on searching for strength and growing roots deeper and deeper into the ground. It is a typical stubborn tree, so is my family. Right down the middle we are split...half members of the church, half non members. slowly you can see the growth in the gospel and the longing to have a purpose or have the perfect family that aches from the inner beings of my older siblings but its just not quite making it. If we ever cut that tree down it would scare me. One side of the tree grows and is lush (which is the side that shades the yard..and makes it very nice ha ha) the other side has fallen. branch by branch as the years have passed when our little Orem had it's windy days.

Not a day goes by that I don't dream of my family being all on the same page. At least we all live near by but family gatherings are not meant for awkward conversations of whether or not we should bless the food at dinner. I know, even if my siblings do not, that each of them wants to be active. Sometimes you just get that feeling or know. One of them...well he is a lost cause and will just have to wait till the next life, but the others, there is still hope. I am grateful that I am sealed at least to all of my siblings, but none of my nieces and nephews are sealed to me.

But even as a split family we find peace and happiness. There are the typical arguments, the broken hearts that cannot be mended, and the stubborn Magill ways, but that doesn't stop us from gathering and loving each other as family. I can argue and argue all I want with my mom and still enjoy a game of liver pool rummy outside under that big old tree. I did that today, and my grandma was there. It was deja vu. The 2 Women before me, I have sisters but I am like them more than anyone. Its a good thing...and a bad thing, but I think I can learn from both of their mistakes and forge some normal person to continue on for my daughters sake. ha ha I hope so at least. I hope that the old willow keeps growing..keeps getting stronger...My yard just isn't the same without it.