I Need to Vent

Have you ever thought about doing something nice for someone hoping that in return they would one day help you back when you needed it? I sure have. EVERYDAY of my LIFE! why is it that I give and give and give what I can to help others even when I am in need yet nobody helps me back? I don't get it. Is everyone in my family that selfish? I need to get out of here. I need to move out. but in order to do that I need 1500 dollars. NO BUENO. I don't like being a mean person or saying no so people are angry and mad at me for days and give me crusties..I hate the fact that my mom is so incredibly controlling and self righteous that she has to teach EVERYONE around her a lesson when they ask for help! HOW DARE US? how dare us ask her to help us? we are not worthy to ask her and because we do we will learn that we have to kiss her feet and pray for her exhaltation to get what we want. I spent my WHOLE life hating her only to write down my angers on a peice of paper and burn it so that I could move on with my life and forgive her. After all she is my mother right? why is it that I get into a good standing relationship with her and she destroys it again? there is NOTHING wrong with asking for help, there is nothing wrong with loving your mother but every time I try she slaps me in the face. I try to tell her things, get to know her, ask her whats up or go to her when I learn a new song but it comes to the simple fact of asking for her help when I am in need otherwise I wouldn't ask her and its walking on hot coals. It hurts. I don't like that and I don't know how to get through to her....even if I try she just mocks me and laughs like its a big joke....what kind of a mother laughs at their child?