Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Slackin..

I Know I know, Its been forever, I keep saying that I will get on here and update my blog..then another day goes by, and another. That day is today! so, what have I been doing? Well to start I'm STILL working at Los Hermanos...sadly. I love the people, love working with people, hate the employers. But then again isn't that usually the way it goes for me? I see something that I would like to change and when I put my 2 cents in I get slammed as if I don't matter. Doesn't everyone's opinion matter in a workplace, no matter what their title? Its a team..not a Dictatorship, or at least it should be. If I had my way freak, that place would be supa cool. haha then there's the other fact that I get paid 2 dollars and 33 cents per hour to make 20 dollars in tips every night. can you say POOR? I'm not even in college!

SOLUTION: Job hunting. However long that's going to take me, I get my hopes up and get an interview only to find that the building is impossibly hard to find in a maze of offices or that I am one person out of 60 applicants for ONE receptionist position. Its ridiculous. I just need something steady! anything! ugh, but the search continues. Hopefully within the next month I will have another job...even if that means moving to another restaurant..only one that pays better...in tips...if that's possible.

Next thing...OH! I moved out. Finally, but not permanently. I moved out of my parents house right over into my sisters house. Big change I know but hey! anything to get me out of that creepy situation. Living in a home with someone who is doing inappropriate things to or around you isn't good for anyone..whether your family believes you or not. I wash my hands of that place. Its okay tho..my brother will do it to or around someone else and they will see, then maybe they will finally understand that I haven't been lying. at least I did my part.

I don't really have much going on for me otherwise. I don't make enough money to make ends meet so I can't even contemplate adding school to that, nor do I have good enough credit to get a decent school loan but lets face it...why would I want to owe MORE money that I already do? its ridiculous. I think I qualify for grants tho..but filling out the FAFSA is a nightmare, especially with my situation. So I wait... I work and wait. Meanwhile I spend my evenings hoping that my guy or one at least one of my friends doesn't have homework so I can hang out and have a decent evening. Its the only thing that keeps me sane. If only I had 3000 dollars. My life would be a different story. Is that sad? people are in debt WAY more than I am and 3000 measly dollars would do a lifetime of a difference for me..if only I was good at gambling..and it wasn't breaking the rules.

Churchwise...is good. It could be better, but I think with the way things are I am just in a slump. I go, but I'm not there. I need to work on that. Prayer and study has always been my high point but I need to be going to the temple more often...but slacking in church is just as guilty of a reason as any to not go to the temple in my opinion. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself but I want more for myself, but I haven't figured out how to get it. well I have, but not entirely. I hope that things get better, I just need a pep talk. Anyone interested?