crap happy? Crappy.

Lately I have been feeling pretty crappy, and by crappy I mean TERRIBLE. I don't know what is going on but I am not myself these days.

When I made the move to Chi town I decided that I wasn't going to move home until I had achieved a list of goals that I had made.

1. Get out of debt (Check)

2. Save money for school. (Check)

3. Revamp my style. (check and Check)

4. Figure out my spiritual ish. (Checkaroo)

5. Better myself in all possible ways independently and as a single adult living away from home (well on my way to a check.)

6. Lose weight, change eating habits and become healthy. (uh...sort of?)

Just over one year later, I have lost 24 lbs. Pretty great for solely changing my diet habits and very minimal exercise. I feel like I should be taking advantage of my situation more than I already have. I live with a family where money and healthy food are plentiful and I can pretty much have whatever it is that my heart (and stomach) desires. At first, my thoughts were, "YES. Fine dining and oreos and snack food and lunchables and chips and soda and insert any and every childhood deprived junk food possible all the time..". 

Then I met Natalia and she is the healthiest person on the planet. I honestly think that I was meant to learn from her in more ways than one. She has taught me a lot about eating clean and staying physically fit. Just by being around her, which at first was right after she had a baby so she was in mega tone up mode, she has motivated me to achieve that rocking body that I know is underneath all of my muffin tops.

So, I took advantage of strollers and good walking shoes. I walked everywhere, lessened my junk food/fast food and soda intake, and became friends with Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine. That alone changed my body a lot. I am tall, so when I lose weight it isn't always THAT noticeable but I felt better, could see the slight changes in my body, and became all excited to continue on.

Then I kind of Plateaued.

I kept going on all of these vacations with the family, which meant going to all of the finest restaurants wherever we went. You indulge when you have the opportunity to eat $70 a plate food with a family that is saying, "Get the Fillet Minion! But don't eat too much, we are getting every dessert!". Then, once winter hit I was eating all of the most excellent Bolognese in all the fine italian restaurants in different countries, cities and even at my own home where Natalia actually taught me how to make authentic Italian cuisine. Sum that up and winter pretty much kicked my butt. I did however hold my weight, so I guess I didn't do too bad.

This spring I decided to kick up the exercise about %100 and lose the rest of this weight. My ideal weight is 140 lbs. For me that would be thin. But not too thin. I currently weight 183 ish. that fluctuates every day though so I would guess about 180. I started running, doing Ab Challenges in the mornings, enter: Trapeze, and I cut my calories down to around 1500. I did this routine solid for about two months, and I started feeling great. I could see a difference and knew that I was in the home stretch. Summer bikini Here I come. Or...not?

about 3 weeks ago which was two months after I began this diet and exercise routine, my side and back hip started hurting. It wasn't too painful but it was enough to make me notice it. I really believe that I have a high pain threshold so I am really uncertain how bad the pain really was. Sometimes I would think it was pretty annoying, and sometimes it wasn't there at all. As the week progressed the pain got a little stronger, a little longer, and now we are in week three and its always there. I have had lower back/hip pain before and am seeing a NUCA Chiropractor while in Chicago because my neck is chronically out of wack. So, at first I assumed it was just back pain. I ruled out appendix, and UTI because my body is function properly in all ways except for the random side pain, a mega dose of 14 year old style cystic acne that just came out of nowhere, and I'm super tired all the time. The pain is Usually more noticeable at night when I am trying to sleep so I have become more of an insomniac than I already was.

I am 90% sure I have an ovarian Cyst (Sorry boy readers...if there even are any). Its on my right side, all of the symptoms fit, and if its not that then it's something that is similar to my girlie organs. AWESOME. I felt like I was blessed when it came to the horrible parts of being a girl. I spent my whole life with almost no symptoms of anything really. But as I am now almost 25, and eating differently, and no longer taking teenage acne medication I think my body just decided to have me play catch up. 

The biggest issue about my current health status is that I am in Chicago, while my health insurance is based out of Utah. Getting healthcare paid for here is a huge loophole that I have to go through like 6 different times in order to get my insurance to cover it. I could pay for it up front, but considering I am probably going to need the full check up that rakes in to be around $2000. No thanks. I think I will just wait until I go home for a visit. Luckily that is in just two short weeks. If my symptoms worsen further I will take action and go somewhere here, but if it IS a cyst then they don't really do much for those anyway and I should be just fine.

Meanwhile I have decided that I need to detox my body, go full force into eating as healthy as possible and take full advantage that I can eat as many organic whole foods products as possible, take vitamins and minerals and do all sorts of things that will hopefully help me balance my hormones naturally. What is even worse than my side pain is the fact that my chin and jawline look so so bad. My skin is just freaking out and I have a slight suspicion that all of the recent changes that I have been making, along with the potential health woe are all just reeking havoc on my skin. Hopefully if I can keep up the good work, I will see things start to get a little better, but I won't know what plans I need to make or how long it is going to take to feel better until I see a doctor when I come home. 

I could use some prayers friends. I am positive that whatever is ailing me is no biggie but seeing as to my recent family medical issues I am always afraid of the worst possible outcome.